Laying In Bed All Day

Quite literally, that’s all I accomplished today. We’ve had Pitch Perfect playing on repeat all day (we’re odd like that). And My best friend’s small dachshund has been curled up in between my legs (as I lay on my stomach; so tickled I was and tried so hard not to kick him), for the better part of the day.

Woke up a few times this morning, until crawling out of bed for about an hour around noon.

I worry about people. I’m in constant conflict between humanitarian, and cold-hearted bitch. So when someone becoming dear to me is stressed, and I’ve picked up on that, I can’t help but worry. Gives me an outlet to avoid my own grief and stress and other such problems I’m currently being plagued with.

I’d rather help everyone than be left alone with my own issues. Probably because in the end, who’s there to hold me together when I crumble? The ones who can, are few and so damn far from me…

But come Monday I cannot do that. I cannot refocus my attentions elsewhere.

But today, I was not feeling the depression or the stress. I was calm. Able to relax and willing to breathe and leave responsibilities for another day.

I have a 9am wake-up call. (Literally, perhaps.) Whether I sleep tonight or no, is still up in the air. However, I’ve some things to preoccupy myself if slumber does not come.

Honey, I’d rather fix everyone else’s problems, than continue to rebuild myself all alone.

Steel and stone are my bones. My heart and soul and mind are simply tired. Can’t the world see this by now?

I’ll aim for rest. I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) is currently on repeat in my head. I wonder who’s fault that is…

~ a little white dove



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