Breathe In

Today I was a little more rested. I was a little more focused.

And granted a precious gift.

My best friend’s husband dragged her into the frame, at the end of his stream, when everyone else had gone, so I could see her.

He has my approval. Entirely. Completely.

He’s graciously accepted me as part of his life, and welcomed me in as a partner, kinda, as he starts live streaming.

He brought her in so I could see her…

I wanted to cry.

Even hours later, I still want to cry. For good reasons and bad.

Breathe in, little dove…breathe in.

Okay, as for homework I’m working on resizing panels so I can put them through an animatic to time my senior project. It’s slow going, but getting done.

Stream was fun. Lot of flirting and playfulness. All in good fun. Some very curious about me, others just impressed I knew metal music and had eclectic taste outside of it.

Interesting day. Slowly productive. Monday will be hell. But I’ll persevere because there’s nothing else I can do.

I got to see my best friend though. And it always awakens the ache.

I love the few people in my life. But she’s the only one who doesn’t assume left and right how I should proceed after I’m done with school. She’s planning on kidnapping me after my graduation, and I’m fine with that.

I wish he were online today…I miss him….

Silly me. Am I getting my hopes up? Perhaps. I’m tired of initiating messages. I know it’s my turn…

But when there seems to be a lack of care, intentional or no…

Well, it puts my guard back up and I really fucking hate it.

I’ll prevail. I’ll continue to persevere.

Breathe in…

I don’t have a choice in the matter.


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