Finally I Can Rest

So I was the only one there to do their physical. My boss really did want me to come in early…

Anyway, physical went alright. May have had to stretch the truth about my skin discoloration. Really lady? Really? It’s just dry skin. (Well, partly true. It’s an autoimmune issue. Not contagious. That causes dry, discolored skin.)

What I need is healthier habits, humidity, and sunlight. Those will cure me right up. For now I think I’ll write.

Or so I’d planned. But tea and begging sounded better.

To which I also munched far too much when mom came home. I regret it. But I deserved a treat.

And I had my drink(s). Two vodka tonics. Which I’m not feeling extensively, though I am feeling sluggish and sleepy…and heavy. Fell asleep in the chair in our living room for about ten minutes. However rather than go to bed, I’m sipping tea and contemplating writing. Would be a better use of my time. I have some things to finish on a personal level. šŸ˜‰

Now it wants to rain here. I note as I type away.

I’d love to hear it rain steadily all night. Stretch out my back as I lay with eyes closing and opening sloth-like in speed.

I need to stop munching. I note as I sip on tea. I need a workout regime. I need to stop being so damn busy. I needĀ rest.

I need rest, above all else. With small portion sizes. Lots of tea. Long sessions of yoga. And enough sleep for a week. To which won’t be happening.

I hurt. I’m hurting. But no one will allow me time to justĀ heal and recuperate.

In need of quiet solitude, better friends, and improved health and lifestyle. But somehow, it’s all always impeded on.

Perhaps I’m looking for reprieve and salvation.

I wish you’d message me, by the way. As sad and petty as that might sound. But your company mellowed me out. I’m not sure why. You were harsh some days. Too abrasively playful others. And I’m not so sure you really understood where I was coming from other days.

I just want a break to organize myself, and recollect the pieces of me.

No one gets that. I just want to be left alone, save for the company.

At least my physical went alright. I’m out $126. But at least I’m healthy and can start working soon…

I just wanted a time to rest. So much for that.

~ a little white dove


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