I get until Tuesday off, unless they really need me.
Freedom, sweet freedom.
However my mother wants to apply for a position at my work place. And honestly I’m not okay with it.
So why don’t I talk to her about that?
Because the blame and guilt gets thrown right back at me. How I’m insensitive about her needs for a better job, and pay.
But she’d outrank me, should she get it, and I’d be stuck under her authority. I’ve already survived that for twenty-four years. Even just the slimmest thought sends me reeling and paling internally.
This position is permanent. Mine is not. However still- being exposed to this dynamic at a work environment would send me over the edge of confliction to be absolutely perfect and screaming because I’d have no freedom.
At work, they don’t know me. I’d rather keep it that way.
Hm…no wonder I gorged on food even though I wasn’t hungry today.
I need to channel this in a better way. But I don’t have a space to work out in, now do I?
Even that will somehow land to being my fault.
I’m okay. But for how long now?
~ a little white dove