Thursday Walks and Coffee

Had my presentation. No clue how well or bad I did.

It’s over and done with.

Only one more in a month from now.

Took the rest of the day off. Walked around campus with a friend, another friend joined us. We went searching for coffee, grabbed dinner.

Spending more money than I should be oh well. 😉

It was a good afternoon and evening.

Nothing fancy. Just simple.

Hectic

All I’ve got for now.

Just…hectic. Lots to do. A lesson to give tomorrow. (But I was foolish and never asked for advice or submitted my [last minute] presentation.)

So I’ll wing it.

And what comes, is what comes. I can only go for it with the best of intentions.

And receive a good night’s sleep.

This cough is getting worse. But so far, I’m at peace with everything else. Mayhem left and right.

But all will level out. ❤

Tired and Triggered

Well, probably shouldn’t put that. But whatever.

Teacher didn’t meet up with me during class like he said he would. I wasted my time.

Rushing through to get everything done. I swear it just doesn’t end.

I’m exhausted. And this cough is getting worse. Doubt it’ll peak like it did back in February.

Gorging tea and coffee. All I can do.

Wish me luck!

Madness

If anyone watched the debate, they understand what I’m talking about.

What a ludicrous disgrace they’ve turned out to be. I shudder to think either of them could be our next president.

Anyway…

Advice given was good. Dorm check went smoothly.

Coughing is getting worse. I’m tired of allergies. And they’ve really only just begun.

It’s been a bizarre day. Really, it truly has.

Tiny Steps

Still recovering. Getting pieces done. Everything will be accomplished.

No appetite. Forcing myself to eat. We got pizza again today.

Was yummy. 😀

Early wake up call in the morning. Then everything to do. Gonna plow through what I can tonight. Laundry tomorrow. Oops.

Dammit all.

And one of my teeth hurts. Lovely. I need to lay off sugar.

Swell

Not.

Nope. Just nope. I’m tired. I’m done. I couldn’t roll out of bed until 1pm, proceeded to feel awful and needing to get EVERYTHING done, and nothing was accomplished.

Allergies have moved from tonsils to sinuses, and chest. It feels like sandpaper is starting to scratch away the tissue.

I’m fed up with academia. It’s a privilege I’m glad I’ve gotten to indulge in. (Yes, privilege. It’s corrupt and costs way too much money in the States.) However, it’s not entirely for me.

I like broad spectrums and critical thinking. I love the open-endedness of almost all factors and ways of approach to most subjects and thoughts.

So while I feel like crap, not getting anything done, my mind does so wander.

I’ve no desire to end up just one place. Not now, perhaps not ever. I’ve yet to find a place to settle down in, with a knowing smile and softened brown eyes that just scream “I’m home.”

Wanderlust. Curiosity. Unsettled desire straight down to the core to pack my bags and go where the winds of life say I need to be.

I fit in nowhere. So far. And what awaits is endless, so long as I keep my hand outstretched for something or someone to pull me another direction.

Or so it will be, once I’m done in December.

I’ll talk about college later this year, most likely around my graduation or shortly after. The ups and downs, my experience(s), and what I’ve gained from it all.

Until then, I’ll be sipping tea, mentally wondering about tomorrow while today still needs all of my attention. Typical, no?

Friday Allergies

Mine are kicking me in the ass.

So I’m washing sheets. Getting nothing done. But hey- an assignment was turned in, and Monday morning I have an appointment to talk to one of my past instructors.

So here I am, widdling away time I don’t have again, feeling like shit and questioning choices left and right.

It could be entirely worse- but my health took a turn come the afternoon.

At least I’m getting pizza tomorrow.

And hopefully my soup is still okay. Probably now. I’m so bad about this goodness me…

October starts my challenge with my best friend in getting healthier.

I do believe I’ll also start livestreaming come December or the new year. I hope I’ll get to. I think it’ll be fun.

Two cups of tea down tonight. How many more will I dare?

Indefinite Plague of Uncertainties

Two sides of my brain are in conflict. One part says I’m fine and dandy and everyone will workout just fantastically.

The other side is cold and callous and not so certain and so damn pessimistic.

As October draws near, I’m left wondering if I should have made different choices academically. I have no idea how anything will play out and everything is in vain because I never get to practice what I want.

People pushing left and right. I can’t land on my feet with everything and I feel weightless and like I’m drowning and I just want it all to stop.

All signs I should probably see someone- but in my mind there’s no point. I know what needs to be done, but getting to that is my own work to be done; of which I never have time to do.

It’s all a temporary mindset, and soon enough I’ll be fiery and sweet as ever.

I need to stop mentioning the good to people; save for a very VERY select few. I have so far, but I need to mention it to fewer people.

I’m exhausted. Frustrated. And have too much piled up again.

I’m just going to bed. Maybe dream of better choices made, or different outcomes, or nothing at all. Perhaps a story instead will unveil itself in dreamland for me, instead.

A cup of mint tea as I cramp up, and some rest before mayhem and chaos.

I’m strong enough and capable enough to become whatever and whoever life has planned I am to be. But for now that image eludes me in confusion and uncertainty.

Happy Autumn, by the way. ❤ Too hot down here. Still…

Good Impressions

I’m still reeling on that fact.

I have two bogus classes. I’m losing lack of interest or faith in their credibility or usefulness.

But I’m still so shocked I’ve made even remotely a good impression like I have with such prestigious places like that.

I also have appointments coming up to discuss with instructors I’ve had- picking their minds and taking their advice into consideration.

It’s been…such a crazy last few days. I’m humbled, terrified, and hopeful.

Talked to mom. Talked to my best friend. Just…wow.

(Plus if I ever decide to take on graduate school within my degree sets- I know where I’d like to go. 😉 That won’t break the bank any more than necessary!)

Unexpected Tuesday

I ate too muuuuch. Blame exhaustion. Will stretch to remedy some of that discomfort.

Need to wash my face and get some sleep.

It’s been a very, very long day.

And unexpectedly good- to which might prove fruitful in the long run.

I’m just….excruciatingly exhausted and tired of people trying to plan my life.

But today went very, very well. I’m…relieved about that. And I’m relieved my best friend and her husband jumped in to help me fix my resume. ❤