Two sides of my brain are in conflict. One part says I’m fine and dandy and everyone will workout just fantastically.
The other side is cold and callous and not so certain and so damn pessimistic.
As October draws near, I’m left wondering if I should have made different choices academically. I have no idea how anything will play out and everything is in vain because I never get to practice what I want.
People pushing left and right. I can’t land on my feet with everything and I feel weightless and like I’m drowning and I just want it all to stop.
All signs I should probably see someone- but in my mind there’s no point. I know what needs to be done, but getting to that is my own work to be done; of which I never have time to do.
It’s all a temporary mindset, and soon enough I’ll be fiery and sweet as ever.
I need to stop mentioning the good to people; save for a very VERY select few. I have so far, but I need to mention it to fewer people.
I’m exhausted. Frustrated. And have too much piled up again.
I’m just going to bed. Maybe dream of better choices made, or different outcomes, or nothing at all. Perhaps a story instead will unveil itself in dreamland for me, instead.
A cup of mint tea as I cramp up, and some rest before mayhem and chaos.
I’m strong enough and capable enough to become whatever and whoever life has planned I am to be. But for now that image eludes me in confusion and uncertainty.
Happy Autumn, by the way. ❤ Too hot down here. Still…