Hiding away. Not talking.
I’ve been quiet, I suppose.
Hiding away. Not talking.
I’ve been quiet, I suppose.
Honestly I don’t have much to say beyond that.
Introspectively processing and contemplating.
My poor senior project. It’s doomed to be a botched mess. However, I’m content so long as I get it working and functioning and turned in on time, I’ve no qualms as to the quality of it. I’ll have time post graduation to make better work. On my own time.
Had coffee with a friend.
Also getting poked on Facebook by kind of friend. How bizarre.
It is a thing.
And you’d think I’d remember, seeing as I posted about it last year on social media.
But I got a burger anyway. For dinner. Yum yum!
Barely ate anything. Had too much coffee. No more splurging for me for a bit. All about saving the money I don’t have. 😉
Barely animated anything. But roughing isn’t so bad. (That’s why Monday will be a crunch day.)
I’ll be fine. I’ll get it all done. And it will rock. 😉
Did cardio. I win. 😀
Today was a quiet kind of day. I spent most of it recovering from my workout, sleeping in after having an awful time trying to fall asleep (probably around 4am, thanks to the morons upstairs), then showered and cooked; all in-between trying to understand a lesson I’m to teach in about two weeks.
Animating got backburnered. And I meant to do it after I cooked some soup to last me for several days; but burned the ring finger on my right hand (the dominant one; I’m right handed), and it stings trying to bend right now.
So tomorrow I’ll be doing laundry and yoga and animating…maybe do some dancing because why not?
Brother needs help texturing his assignment in the basic 3D course, so I’ll lend a hand. (Might get free coffee out of it toooo.)
I’ve changed the username on my instagram account. It just doesn’t feel right currently tying it with my art account. And I’m about to start creating “professional” items and outlets with my real name, in hopes of garnering myself some credibility.
All in all, okay day. Feel great for working out like I did. 🙂 And happy I’m not overly-pressured with my lesson I need to do. (But apparently I need to purchase ANOTHER pair of slacks. Grrr…)
Homework pushed aside again- I had every intention. Kind of.
But best friend wanted to skype, so best friend became priority.
Life is curious right now. Always so curious.
Yoga. Relaxed. No tea today, but perhaps come tomorrow. ❤
Priorities are being managed a day at a time.
Not much else to say, otherwise. Other than my campus isn’t safe right now and that’s frustrating.
I went to a guest speaker following my one class. It was dull, dreary, so much a scam and so terribly set up- Public Relations just aren’t my cup of tea.
Sweeping up things that go wrong under the rug, and having the audacity to say it’s a shame bad things come to happen. You and companies like you feed on this, your entire reason is to sweep it under the rug with vague positive answers.
I digress. The food was weird too. Odd pizzas. Fancy pizzas just aren’t my cup of tea…
Went out for beer and wings.
However I’m currently on a tight budget. PS4, new TV, a new computer at some point…
All take precedence and priority… Hahaaaa. Must be good. Must be good…!
Wish me luck. 😉
I enjoy my first class, the one I’m teaching.
But senior project? I’m struggling to remember why I need to do this, why it matters. I’m so tired and it’s so loud in there. Not to mention I may-or-may-not have an assignment revamp due tomorrow, as well as a recording of it (which is total bullshit and I’m not at ALL comfortable with it).
I’m tired and I ate too much and I regret it and I have a nagging headache.
I’m done done DONE with this day. And this month.
December is all I want. To go home, find peace and quiet, and try and figure out the direction my life wants to go- in the comforts outside of academia and pressure and obnoxious little brats who are all over 20 years of age.
I’m venting. I’m ranting. I hate it. But I’m absolutely grumpy.
At least I’m getting back to frequent yoga…
I managed to start animating. Little tiny pieces. However I am managing to get it started.
Otherwise? Some laundry. Some yoga. Plenty of pizza and nerding out on many things. 🙂
Other homework hasn’t become a prerogative yet. Neither have internship applications. But a day at a time, yeah?
I also am quite aware of what it is. September 11th. I remember it well. My dad was on his way to Boston the same morning it happened.
Luckily he was okay. Came to die later on, but that’s a matter not in tune with the event that shook the world in such a cold, terrible way.
There are no words to discuss it. To say. All has already been said. “We will never forget” is a lie of a slogan- one that as the newer generations come into this world, will not be able to understand the severity and the horror as it happened, and the events that proceeded it.
My alarm has been set for 10am. I will be productive. I will do yoga. I will be up and going with the day. ❤
A Saturday. Our football team finally beat the only in-state rivalry we have. I got some cleaning done.
I figured out the layout (to an extent) for two programs I’m using.
Did I work out? Well, no…
But pizza was on sale today in honor of the football game today.
And Kingsglaive is an amazing movie. The animation is fantastic. The effects are fantastic. The premise was well written, in comparison to writing nowadays.
I’m highly impressed and am as stoked as ever for Final Fantasy XV to release. (Just need a PS4…)
Anyway. Day was a day. And one of the girls living across from me is hoping I’ll take her under my wings, seeing as I’m older and she’s quite enthusiastic that my favorite band is hers.
So a day indeed.
Why can’t I focus?
Why am I allowing myself to drift back into a rut?
Why does tomorrow exhaust me already when today has barely happened?
Why am I so hard to include in anything?
Why am I a recluse perfectly alright with being alone?
Why. Why. Why.
Always so much why. And for many it’s simply how their life is meant to develop. I’m currently in the process of juggling more than I can chew without feeling weighed down. I have my entire life to try and work with, my graduation, my classes, my students, my health. It’s manageable to an extent, but I prefer not being bogged down by consequential things as the main weight.
With that, I begin to shut down. Pull away, hide away, push everything to the side until I have to deal with it. And I’m running out of so much time that it’s becoming too much a habit and fall back when I’m feeling overwhelmed.
I’m not ready to be an adult, but I’m ready to be far, far away from academia institutes and away from closed minds trying to mesh me into a shape and identity I’ve never been.
I can’t be shaped. Not so fun for me, either. Hence why I’m left in a type of limbo, with headaches left and right and a displeased look pulling at my face when I slip in masking it.
Now then- I need to be healthier. So tonight I’m doing yoga. Watching a lot of Dark Souls playthroughs lately, but they are fascinating to me in the lore.
I didn’t even bring myself to going to a bonfire tonight. I need out of this rut before it swallows me like depression enjoys doing. Mild it usually is, but it leaves a wicked mark.